You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
