I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I fill condoms, not promises.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
