sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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