i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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