i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
