I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
