So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
