no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
