Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
