I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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