dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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