you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
