It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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