My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
