Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
