are you still at the devil's house?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
