I look better un-naked...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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