I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
