he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
