I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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