Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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