I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you would pick up someone in the library
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
