we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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