Can i not drive my cunt home
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
