big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
