Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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