omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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