a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
