I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I pour the whiskey from now on
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
