I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
