So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
