Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I need a beard to bite.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
