The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
