Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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