Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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