At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
splinters make it hard to masturbate
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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