Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
