grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
