i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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