Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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