Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He kissed a someone with a penis
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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