I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
