I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
