I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
