Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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