But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
