please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
