he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
