Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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