i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You did what with his pubic hair?
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